Captain Laika

Captain Laika was a female dog, and she knew it.

Nothing unusual about that, being as she was in command of a Carnivon cruiser. What was unusual was her and her crew's current plight. The latest round of shore leave on Planet Alpo had left the majority of her crew suffering from worms, and the rest were battling an infestation of fleas after frequenting some of the less savory places the planet had to offer.

She heard the flapping of the doggie-door from the turbo-lift as one of her crew came onto the bridge, and without turning she knew it to be the Ship's Legendary Veternarian, Doctor Wags.

"Doctor? Anything new to report?"

"Yes, Captain. We had to put Ensign Fido down, the rabies had progressed too far. And I have confined Lieutenant Spot to his kennel, since the other crew were calling him a "walking lamp", ridiculing the protective cone we installed to keep him from licking his wounded paw."

"Well that's what happens when we get assigned all of these new pups. How is the rest of the crew holding up?"

"Remarkably well, all things considered. I have requested that the ship's food-preparer distribute an extra ration of milkbones with tonight's meal, but insisted that the crew keep their begging to a minimum this time."

"Good idea. That should help with morale, if only for the time being. I do not like this mission, or the thought of leading this crew during it, one bit . . . Navigator! Stop sniffing the helmsman's rear-side. This is the last time I'm warning you. Good boy."

The doctor returned his attention back to the captain. "Which feline abomination is it this time? Lyrans or Kzintis?"

"Does it really matter at this point? All we know is that another squeaky toy has been discovered floating in space in the disputed border areas, and we're to investigate."

"Perhaps a leftover from the last PetSmart cargo ship that overturned and spilled her cargo? The number of comrades we lost as they dashed into the busy shipping lanes cannot be allowed to happen again."

Captain Laika growled a bit and then licked her lips. "Perhaps . . . but I can't shake this feeling that something is amiss." As if to emphasize her point, she shook her body from snout to tail.

As if on que, the helm interrupted her. "Captain, long range sensors picking up an unknown ship. Headed this way in a hurry."

Captain Laika wasted no time in reacting. "Bring us around. Not too many circles this time - we're not laying down for a nap. And go to Code Dark Grey. We did make sure the newer crew members can tell the difference between Dark Grey and Light Grey, didn't we?"

"Captain, we're being hailed."

"Put it on shipwide audio."

The intense shrill which was soon heard by all the crew, but which no other non-Carnivon could discern, whipped the entire ship into a frenzy.

"Close the channel! Close the channel! Woof Woof! Arm the Disruptor Canons. Load the Death Bolts. Heel Nipper charged to double range. Flea collars on. Have the officers don their doggie sweaters. We're going in."

With that, the Carnivon ship spun and headed to intercept the intruder . . .

Be nice

Poor doggies. Such disrespect. At least they don't just leave dead mice on the transporter pad, cough up a hairball and go to sleep on the nice warm DERFACS panel like Kzinti crew.

Gotta show that to my

Gotta show that to my son...he's our resident Kzinti player :)

My other car is a D7 Battlecruiser

woof woof

first earthling in space!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laika